Does it capture your attention right away or does it take a while to get going? Is there a better place for it to begin?

after reading the essay my struggle with eating disorders. Can you answer all the question in here
1. CONFLICT
Does the story have a clear strong conflict, in which you can answer what they want, what’s in the way and why it’s important?
What is it?
Is it resolved by the end?
How might the conflict be more clear or impactful?

o 2. DESCRIPTIONS
What are some of the essay’s best sensory descriptions?
Where could it use more?
How might they help you imagine the story better?

o 3. ORGANIZATION
How is the essay organized?
Does it capture your attention right away or does it take a while to get going? Is there a better place for it to begin?
What question is holding you in suspense? Is it held until the end of the essay?
Does the essay avoid unnecessary tangents and details?
Any parts which might need to be cut?

o 4. DIALOGUE
Where might the essay include more or less dialogue?
How might they make it sound more natural or interesting?
Is it punctuated correctly?

o 5. VOICE
Where does it feel like the narrator’s natural voice really comes through
Where could it come through more?
Any clichés and overly formal language they should avoid?

o 6. PURPOSE
What is the main point of the essay?
How might the author’s insights and reflections on the story be more clear?

o 7. OVERALL
Any other suggestions to help improve the essay?

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